Greetings everyone. Let’s begin the Bible Study today by turning to Proverbs 18:13. This is an exceptionally important verse in the Bible. It’ll help us so much in our interactions with others if we will understand it and keep it in mind.
Notice what it says here in Proverbs 18:13.
13 He that answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame unto him.
Now this happens all too often. So many people jump to conclusions instead of arriving at a conclusion, or they will be too quick to judge, they will be too quick to give an answer or a judgment or a recommendation. We have to get all the facts. First of all, let’s look at this part of this verse.
13 He that answers a matter before he hears it—
Perhaps it’s a case of where someone is explaining a situation and the other person feels like, “Oh, I already know what he’s going to say.” So they just butt in and interrupt, and they don’t let the individual fully explain it and then give some thought to it before they answer. And so that’s the problem.
And another problem that verse 13 brings out is that they will hear something or they will read something and yet before taking time with it and before fully exploring it and investigating it and getting more facts, they’ll jump to a conclusion. Either way, it’s going to be a problem for the individual who jumps to the conclusion and a problem for the other people who are involved in the matter that’s being considered. It’s just not a Christian practice. It’s not a smart way to relate or deal with other people.
13 He that answers a matter before he hears it—
We need to hear the matter out fully, and we need to get all the facts, and we need to weigh those facts, and we need to use wisdom, and we need to perhaps get counsel, and then take action, reach a conclusion, or answer the matter.
Otherwise it is folly and shame unto the one who jumped to the conclusion and answered the matter before he fully or she fully heard it. And it’s going to be folly and shame and probably cause trouble for the people who are involved in the matter that’s under discussion. It’s a very important principle that I hope we’ll consider.
14 The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?
Or a better translation: The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, but a broken spirit, who can bear?
You’ve probably been sick before, and it’s not a pleasant thing. And yet because you have hope and you have strength from God and you have that irrepressible spirit to look past the sickness into the future when you’ll either be healed or well or when you’ll get better—if you’re able to do that, then you can get through that problem, that pain, that sickness. But if you let it overcome you and overwhelm you—and instead of looking past it, you simply start focusing on the problem, the pain, the sickness—you can end up having a wounded spirit or a broken spirit, and that’s even worse than the sickness.
The sickness is bad enough, but if we lose heart and we no longer have hope, that’s even worse than the sickness itself. So we have to keep our spirits up, and we have to keep the big picture in mind, and we have to look beyond whatever the problem might be—even if it’s a very serious sickness—and realize that God can deliver us from this sickness and will deliver us from this sickness. And so we just simply do our part, put it in perspective, ask Him to help us, and keep on going forward—knowing and believing and trusting that our better day is coming. When a person has that attitude and that spirit, that will help sustain us through the infirmity.
15 The heart of the prudent gets knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
A smart individual—a prudent individual, a wise individual—wants to learn. They want knowledge, no matter what subject you could bring up. Maybe on the job, they’re not just satisfied with knowing what they know. They want to improve the job they do. They want to increase their skills. They want to educate themselves to do their job even better.
You might say, “Well, what are the big things in life? Why am I here? Where am I going? What’s life all about? How can we make our marriage even happier? How can we help our family be even more enjoyable and more at peace? How can we improve our health? How can I be a better driver, a better cook, a better example, a better neighbor, a better Christian?” We want to grow in grace and knowledge and so when a person has that attitude, or that heart, they’re going to find knowledge.
15 —and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
Their ears are open to good knowledge, to sources of knowledge. It could be a book. It could be a sermon. It could be suggestions. It could be instructions. It could be sights and sounds. The ear of the wise—as the old saying goes, they’re “all ears.” They want to learn. They want to grow. They want to take in good, solid knowledge.
But for someone to say, “Well, I don’t want any more knowledge. I don’t want to hear about any more knowledge. I’m smug and self–satisfied. I just want to be left alone and I’ll just kind of get into a rut.” I read in a book that a rut is just a grave with both ends knocked out. “You know, I’ll just get into a rut and settle down and just slog it along through life, and then one day just die.” What a boring idea. What a boring way to live. What an attitude of cheating oneself if we think, “Eh, I know all I need to know. I don’t want any more knowledge.” Let’s not be that way.
16 A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.
That’s the world’s way. A gift can turn heads. A gift can open doors. A gift can put you in contact with people, whereas otherwise you would never be able to be in contact with them. Now, if you want to give someone a gift—not a bribe, but a gift—and it’s just a gift with no strings attached, and it’s a gift because you want to help them or you love them or you want to express your gratitude to them, or you just have an attitude of giving—that’s wonderful.
But the world’s way is to use a gift to get something back, to use a gift to open a door, a gift to grease the slides, a gift to make something happen and hopefully to put them in contact with money or put them in contact with power, put them in contact with people in high places. And quite often that works for a while up to a point, but after a while, it backfires. And so it’s not the way to go. But he’s right in verse 16, Solomon is, inspired by God. That’s kind of what makes the world go around there, and it’s not God’s way of doing business. It’s not God’s way of relating to others. It’s not God’s way of accomplishing things. He tells us in the book of Psalms. Promotion comes from Him.
17 He that is first in his own case seems just; but his neighbor comes and searches him.
Or he that is first to plead his own case seems just or right, but his neighbor comes and examines him.
Once again, quite often, our court system works this way. Whoever shows up first, speaks first and acts the best, uses theatrics, maybe uses drama and emotion and volume, can be very convincing at first. And oh my, if there is a dispute or there is a matter that needs settled, the one who comes first can just totally convince the judge or totally convince the one who’s the arbitrator or the one who has to settle a matter. And it can just be so compelling, but then when the other party comes and then you find out the other side of the story and you get more of the facts of the other person, it might turn out to be totally different or partially different or somewhat different. On the other hand, it might be exactly the way it was when it was presented to you in the first place.
But I can tell you this much, what the Bible advocates and what this verse is hoping we will learn is this: Before you decide a matter, you need to hear all sides of it. And you’ve heard the old saying, “There’s two sides to every story.” That’s the old axiom. It’s been my experience that quite often there’s more than two sides. Sometimes there’s three and four sides.
And you can’t just let something go on and on and on and on intermittently and interminably and never be brought to a head and to a conclusion. But on the other hand, you don’t want to rush matters when you are having to decide a situation or when you’re having to understand a circumstance. You want to make sure that you hear from all parties involved as best you can, and you get all sides of the story and get as many facts as you can.
Don’t just go by what you hear at first. No matter how passionate it was, no matter how convincing it was, you better hear from other people and get other sides of the story. You better search out and examine the story and search out and examine the circumstances, or you could end up making a wrong decision and reaching a wrong conclusion and taking wrong action, and everybody concerned is going to get hurt. So that’s the admonition in verse 17. I hope we heed it.
And notice how up to date the book of Proverbs is. Written 3,000 years ago, but not only is it up to date, it’s ahead of us. It’s ahead of our time. Not only was it ahead of its time, it’s ahead of our time. You know why? Because God inspired this book. This is the great God who inspired these words, and He knows everything, past, present and future. And He knows what works and what doesn’t work. And He knows human beings and human thoughts and human nature and human minds. And so this is the manual for living right here—the book, the Bible. And one of the best books in this library—called the Bible—of sixty–six books is this book of Proverbs.
You know, if you’re going to repair a car, you’ll probably go get the manual and see how that car is put together and what works and what you should do and shouldn’t do. If you’re going to bake bread, you’ll probably get a recipe. And you’ll see what ingredients you put together that ends up turning out delicious, wonderful smelling and tasting bread.
Well, here we have this thing called life, this gift of life that God has given us. He didn’t just give us life and say, “All the best to you,” and push us out in deep water and you’ve got to either sink or swim. That’s not the approach that God takes to His children and to life.
You know what He’s done? He’s created life and He’s given us the manual for living life abundantly, the manual to live life in a way that really works, and it’s called the Holy Bible. And right here in this Holy Bible is a holy book called Proverbs. And it’s one of the best places we can go to in the Bible to find out the way to live and what works and doesn’t work. And even though it was written thousands of years ago, it’s absolutely up to date. It’s not old–fashioned. It’s not out of touch. It’s ahead of our time because God inspired it.
And look what it says here. Look at all these verses we’ve been reading. Look how wonderful they are and how up to date they are and how they really do work if we’ll follow them.
17 He that is first in his own cause seems just; but his neighbor comes and searches him out.
If we will heed that and respond to that and understand that, it’ll save us a lot of trouble and a lot of grief, and it’ll save others a lot of trouble and a lot of grief as well.
18 The lot causes contentions to cease, and parts between the mighty.
We don’t need to cast lots today. We have God’s word to guide us. We have God’s Holy Spirit. But I tell you what this is saying here. Make a decision and then the matter can be settled. But if it just goes back and forth, back and forth, up and down, up and down, and there’s caterwauling and there’s windmilling, and there’s all kinds of this, that, and the other and nobody will step up, and when the time comes, make a decision because they’re timid or they’re tenuous or they’re afraid or they don’t want to be the bad guy or whatever—the contention just keeps on going and it gets worse and it escalates because nobody will take action to solve it and put an end to it.
But if a decision can be made, and it’s a good decision and it’s a right decision and it’s a decision that will be enforced, the matter can be taken care of. That’s when the contention will stop, and that’s when people who otherwise would come together and begin hurting one another, can be kept apart and it can cool down and it’ll be over with.
When it says casting lots causes contentions to cease, in the day that casting lots were practiced, that’s simply a decision being made. Now we don’t cast lots, but we make decisions. And if the time comes to make it, and someone who has that responsibility steps up and makes it, that causes the contention to cease.
If there’s somebody who will not recognize that decision and still wants to be contentious, that could be handled a different way. But the problem can be solved and people can get on with their lives. That’s the point. Don’t just let it keep on boiling and cooking and getting worse and worse and worse, and nobody will look into it, nobody will follow up on it, nobody will take action and reach a bottom line. That’s the admonition in verse 18.
Verse 19, consider this carefully, this is very, very important in families and in friendships or in life.
19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Now, of course, people can be too touchy, too sensitive. They can be too easily offended. We don’t want to be that way. On the other hand, we can be insensitive and unfeeling and uncaring and our conscience can be seared. We don’t want to be that way either. We want to be balanced. We want to be sensitive to others and sensitive to their feelings. But we also want to be broadminded and big–minded to where we’re not so touchy and so easily hurt and so easily offended that we just go through life wounded or pouting or upset all the time.
But there will be times and there will be cases where, either unintentionally or on purpose, we offend someone else. Not just kind of upset them or tick them off or irritate them, we actually deeply hurt their feelings. And it could be a relative. And sometimes passions are stronger between relatives. Someone who loves more tends to hate more, and so quite often family feuding is the toughest situation where someone gets offended—very hard to put that offense aside and come together and move on and forget it, in any case, but certainly in families.
19 —and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Hard to get into a well–fortified castle. Hard to get through to a person who’s been offended deeply, and especially if it’s a brother, especially if it’s a friend, especially if it’s a fellow comrade or Christian.
So the thing to do—and what verse 19 is pointing out really, if we understand the meaning of it—is let’s be conscious of other people’s feelings and let’s also make sure that we’re not too touchy. But if something is done or said that does cause deep offense, be aware that it could be much harder to get that resolved than you think, especially to someone or with someone who is really, really close to you.
It can be done when we use God’s word and we follow the example of Jesus Christ and we call on the power of God’s holy spirit. But don’t think it’s automatically going to be just kind of like snapping the fingers and a quick simple thing. It can take discussion. It can take forgiveness. It can take patience. It can be done. It’s going to be tougher than you might think, so it’s best for it not to happen in the first place. But if it does, then realize it could take some time and it could take some effort to get it resolved. But if it takes time and effort—and it will—put forth that time and effort, because it’ll be worth it in order to mend the breach and to bring about forgiveness and to heal the wound of an offense.
20 A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.
Or with the produce of his lips. Of course, talking is a very wonderful and profitable thing if it’s done in the right way, guided by God’s word, and in right balance. It can bear rich fruit.
Another part of verse 20 that we need to consider is, we’re held responsible for what we say. You know you can plant an apple tree and it can grow and bear a lot of apples and you can just leave them hanging on the tree or someone else can come in and pick them, or you can go pick them—you have a choice.
But our words, we don’t have a choice, we’ve got to live with them. They’re there. They get back to us. We are the source of them. Nobody else is going to be responsible for them. We’re going to be responsible for them so that if they are good words, then we’ll be satisfied with the fruit they bear. If they’re not good words, we’re going to suffer from the fruit they bear. If we think beforehand and we speak well and we have wholesome words, then the product or produce of our lips will be a very fulfilling thing. If not, they’ll be a painful thing. So, once again, the importance of words—and words do matter—the importance of words is underlined here in verse 20.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Death and life, that’s right.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue—
It can be someone who’s in the position to say “guilty” and sentence that person to death, or “not guilty” and commute that person’s situation or sentence to life, and it’s done with words. It can be someone who lies about an individual, gets them in trouble and even causes rage on the part of someone else to come after them and kill them, or it can be someone who says just with words, “They didn’t do that. Why don’t you leave them alone?” and that individual who hears them say that says, “Okay.” and that person is left alive. It can be written down in a book or it can be written on pieces of paper or can be written in a dossier or a report.
It’s just amazing how much power the tongue has. It’s amazing how much good can be done by proper use of the tongue and it’s amazing how much evil and damage and suffering can be done by the misuse of the tongue. This is not often thought about. I hope we’ll take heed to what we’re reading in the book of Proverbs and give a tremendous amount of thought to the power of the tongue.
21 —and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
We’re held responsible for the fruit that is born, and we’re going to eat the good fruit or the bad fruit that’s produced by our tongues.
22 Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord.
This is a sermon in and of itself, verse 22. What a blessing for God to bless a man with a wonderful wife—a wife that is a virtuous woman, a wife that loves him and cares for him and will be a helpmate to him and respect him, and someone he can care for and protect and honor and love and look after. It’s a wonderful godly thing, the institution of marriage. And good things come from having a wonderful, loving, kind, faithful wife. Good things come to her and to the husband and to the children. And notice this, and it’s often overlooked, but notice it:
22 —obtains favor of the Lord.
Not only are there wonderful blessings that come from a happy marriage and finding a wonderful wife, but there are additional blessings that come from God because of this happy marriage and because of this wonderful wife.
22 —obtains favor of the Lord.
His whole life improves and it’s more pleasing to God, and the blessings come. Verse 22 is certainly a wonderful kind of insight or snapshot of what a happy marriage and a wonderful mate and companion for life, a wife, can bring to a man’s life.
23 The poor uses entreaties; but the rich answers roughly.
In other words, the poor, they’re in a vulnerable position so they have to negotiate, they have to talk, they have to respect, they have to consider what they can do in the way of promises or requests. This is the attitude in the world today again.
But the rich, well, they think they’re in a strong position. They don’t have to answer to anybody. They can say whatever they want so they can talk real tough and they can be real rough because after all, they’re rich, and if you don’t like it, you can’t do anything about it. That’s the attitude.
Of course, that’s the wrong attitude. And of course, even when people in the world who are rich take that attitude, it’ll backfire on them and they’ll find out that riches is not real security.
And the poor can also find out that entreaties are not real security. So whether we’re poor or rich, techniques and different approaches that we can come up with are not the real answer, but rather obeying God, so that the riches that He gives us will be appreciated and used wisely, and if we find ourselves in poverty, obeying God and then He delivers us and helps us out of our poverty—that’s the answer.
24 A man that has friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
Well, of course, the Bible says whatever you sow you reap. So if you want to have friends, you do need to be friendly, and if you already have friends, you do need to be friendly to them and appreciate them. But there’s a better translation of verse 24 and it ties in with the two–part kind of parallelism and contrast you find in some of these proverbs.
A better translation is: A man that has friends may come to ruin. Or the Jewish translation says, “He can have them to his own hurt, and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.” So there are two kinds of friends being discussed here. There is a friend who can bring you to ruin, or friends that can bring you to ruin, or friends that you can have to your own hurt or pain or suffering or sorrow or trouble. And there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
So we have to be careful about the friends we have and we have to be careful to choose our friends wisely. We don’t want the ones that will bring ruin. We want the ones, the friends, that will stick closer than a loyal, faithful blood brother. Very wise words, I hope we’ll pay attention to them when it comes to friendships and when it comes to companionships.
We’ll stop there and pick it up in Chapter 19 the next time.
This is Charles Bryce with the Enduring Church of God.