Greetings, everyone. Let’s turn to Proverbs 19:13 as we continue through this wonderful book in this verse–by–verse Bible Study. It says in Proverbs 19:13:
13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
So a foolish son is the calamity of his father, the ruin of his father. Children are tremendous blessings. They are a heritage. They are a reward. They are a thrill if we spend time in rearing them properly, and if they try to do the right thing. Even though there could be problems here or there. What a blessing!
But sometimes a child will end up being a foolish daughter or a foolish son and start to hurt themselves and hurt others and end up actually hurting their parents. And that’s one of the most devastating things that can happen to an individual, when children grow up and then start to create huge problems for their parents, and even ruin their father or mother financially and emotionally and physically and other ways.
We need to do all we can to try to prevent that from happening by being loving and kind and fully engaged parents from the day of birth, and lead and guide and direct and train our children in the way they ought to go to avoid that.
13 —and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
There are all kinds of analogies we could draw here, but I’m sure you’ve heard water dropping through a leaky roof on the floor or in a pot or on something. Or maybe you’ve heard a leaky faucet dropping in a pan in the sink—after a while it just gets to be irritating. In fact that’s a better translation: “The contentions of a wife are an unending irritation.”
Now, we’ve already read that a prudent wife is from the Eternal, or he that finds a wife finds a good thing. We’ll read later that a prudent wife is from the Eternal. What a blessing to have a wonderful companion, a wonderful helpmate, a wonderful partner in life. And as a husband, we need to honor our wives. We need to care for our wives. We need to provide for and look after our wives.
But sometimes a wife does not step up and fulfill her responsibilities. And she can begin to criticize and carp and complain. And she can start to undermine and not cooperate—and just always having something to be upset about. And when the husband comes home from work, just start to come up with negative things, and things that they are unhappy about, and being picky and petty and all of that. And then in the morning when the husband gets up and gets ready to go to work, there it starts again. And so that’s what this is talking about here in verse 13.
When a wife is like that—or gets in that mood or has a stretch of time when there’s just constant tension and contention and harassment and complaining and bellyaching and babbling about this is wrong and that’s wrong, and do this and do that, and how come this and how come that—it gets to where it’s just like a drippy faucet in a sink or a leaky roof. It’s like an unending irritation and a continual dropping.
So God brings this out through Solomon in verse 13, so wives can consider how they respect their husbands and relate to their husbands and make sure that they don’t give him that kind of problem.
4 Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is from the Eternal.
Or houses and riches are the inheritance from fathers, is perhaps a better way to put that. If fathers are careful and they are successful and they save and they provide for families, then when they get old and die, that could be passed on to children who hopefully will be diligent, and follow the example, and save and provide for their families and then that’ll be passed on to their children, etc.
God is the one who created families. And the extended family is certainly something that’s pleasing in His sight and helpful for everyone. And parents taking care of children and then later on leaving something for them, and then children taking what’s left and carefully benefiting from it rather than squandering it, is the way God wants it done even though it’s not always done that way. But look at what it says here in the last part of verse 14:
14 —a prudent wife is from the Eternal.
A wife that is skillful, intelligent, diligent, trustworthy. What a blessing! And a wife like that should be viewed as a blessing from the Eternal Himself. And a wife like that ought to be honored and appreciated and respected and loved and cared for, and be thanked often and regularly for the wonderful person she is and for the wonderful blessings and things that she brings into the life of the home and the family and the husband and the children.
So do we think of a wife like that from the Eternal? Because that’s certainly the way it is and that’s certainly made plain here in verse 14. She is a wonderful, wonderful blessing from the Eternal that ought to be cared for and looked after and appreciated and regularly praised.
15 Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.
Laziness. One of the things that Proverbs continually emphasizes is what a pathetic and pitiful state to be in when a person is lazy. Failure sets in. A person who just wants to eat and sleep and eat and sleep and eat and sleep some more, or drink or smoke or lay around. They’re indolent. They’re slothful. Their indolence and their slothfulness brings hunger, and brings empty cupboards, and brings a state of having nothing. And then they start complaining about having nothing, not realizing, well, the reason they have nothing is because they’re just lazy.
So laziness does cast into a deep sleep, too much sleep, too much just laying around watching soap operas, or laying around on the computer, or laying around not cleaning house or laying around not going to work. And that’s going to be an individual who is an idle soul and they’re going to be suffering hunger and wondering why?
Instead of looking and saying, “It’s because I’m lazy.” And the solution to that is to get up, get going, get busy and be productive, and then that person won’t be hungry. They’ll begin to be blessed for their work.
16 He that keeps the commandment keeps his own soul; but he that despises his ways shall die.
Or to make it even clearer, if we obey God, we’re the greatest beneficiary for that. Others will benefit as well. But if we obey God, if we keep His commandments, if we follow His laws, if we live the way He tells us to live, we will have security, we will have protection, we will have blessings, we will have prosperity, we will live the abundant life. So it’s good for us as well as good for others.
But if we are careless in what we do and if we despise God’s ways, God’s laws, God’s truth, it’s going to lead to death. It’s just that simple. So there’s the choice. Let’s make the right choice.
17 He that has pity upon the poor lends unto the Lord; and that which he has given will he pay him again.
Can you make that connection? Do you realize how closely involved God is in everything in the universe? He’s taken hands off and He’s let man go his own way for 6,000 years to learn hard lessons that man himself has chosen to learn. But He’s always in charge, God is. And He’s always watching and judging and looking. And He always takes particular notice of the disadvantaged—people that are poor. Now, they’re not lazy or indolent, they’re simply poor.
And when we also take notice and we have pity upon people that are on hard times and they want to do better, but they need a helping hand and we can do that, you know, when we reach out and help them, we’re helping God because we’re helping His people. We’re helping the poor, the ones that He is looking at and caring for, and so there’s a connection there.
When we help those that need help and will do something with it that’s good, we not only help them, it’s like we are lending or giving to God because we gave to the people that He is very concerned about.
17 —and that which he has given will he pay him again.
He ought to be capitalized. That which he has given to the poor will God pay back to him. It’ll come back. It’ll probably come back in a larger amount than what was given out to the poor. What a wonderful thing to understand in verse 17!
We don’t need to do this in a way that’s real showy and that draws attention to ourselves and that is done only to get praise from others. No, not at all. But if we just quietly, where we can, when we can, in the right way, help those that need help, and then they use it properly, it’s like giving something to God. And He says right here that when the time is right and in the right way, it’ll come back to us because of the good we did. Now, that’s not why we do it, but that’s what will happen. It’ll come back because that’s the way God is. When He sees that we’re doing something good, He loves to give back to us.
18 Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying.
Right from the day a child is born, the training starts. And as we train our children, love our children, care for our children, instruct our children, and discipline our children, instead of the twig being bent the wrong way, it’ll grow straight and tall and sturdy and end up being a beautiful, strong tree, to use the analogy. A beautiful, strong, successful adult.
But we’ve got to do it early. We’ve got to do it while we can reach them. We have to do it before they get set in their ways and then it’s tougher to do it. And so start from birth living the right way, setting the right example, properly training our children and properly instructing, and yes, disciplining them in love. And don’t let crying, don’t let tears, stop us from doing it.
There’s never a case where abuse should be done. That’s absolutely wrong. But, you know, when we instruct our children and sometimes correct them, they might cry a bit. Even if we discipline them, they might cry, and they probably will cry. That’s a natural emotion. We’re not inflicting abuse on them. We’re not bruising them. We’re not in any way, shape, or form harming them. We’re loving them and helping them get the point where they will turn out happy and where they will turn out well. But we have to do it fairly early on and we must do it whether the child likes it or not, whether the child pouts or not, whether the child cries or not—because it’s the right thing to do. They’ll get over the crying. Then there’ll be hugs and kisses and they’ll move on and they will have learned the lesson from a loving parent who loves them so much, they took time, that parent, to chasten them.
So that’s what verse 18 is talking about. Don’t wait too long before we start correcting and before we start training and disciplining our son, our daughter, our children. Otherwise it won’t be as effective. In fact, if we wait too long, it’ll have little or no effect. Do it while there’s hope. Do it while it works. Do it while you have their attention, and don’t worry about the crying. We’re not talking about abuse here. That’s never okay. That’s never right. But don’t worry about the crying, that’s a natural response to correction. And the crying turns to happiness, and the punishment turns to something that’s very profitable if it’s done in the right way for the right reason as the child grows up.
19 A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if you deliver him, yet you must do it again.
Someone who doesn’t have his anger under control, someone who doesn’t have his emotions under control, someone who is just a wrathful individual, gets mad, gets angry, loses his temper—he’s going to suffer problems. And you can just keep on delivering him out of those problems and keep on working with him and keep on rescuing him, keep on stepping in and intervening for him. And unless he changes his attitude and unless he gets his emotions under control, you will spend so much of your time just doing that over and over and over again. Because he’s not wanting to change, he’s not wanting to get over that. He just wants to be able to vent his anger and you come in and make it right.
Well, that’s not the thing to do, so you ought to think about that before you get locked into doing something like that or you’ll just have to do it over and over again.
20 Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter end.
That you may be wise as you grow older. Isn’t it pathetic how some people grow old and they still don’t have wisdom? Isn’t that a tragedy? As we go along through life and we mature and we learn and we try to do the right thing, the older we get, the more mature we get, the wiser we get, and the more useful we become in serving God and serving others.
But there are those who don’t pay attention to the things that count and who just kind of want to do their own thing. And they go through life that way and then they end up not receiving instruction at anytime in their life. And there they are an old person and they’re just selfish and they have no wisdom and they have no clue about what’s going on. What a tragedy! It doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way. And it won’t be that way if along the path of life we will be teachable and we will receive instruction. Then we will have wisdom. And as we grow older, we’ll be very wise and able to help others acquire wisdom as well, by our example and by our instruction.
21 There are many devices in a man's heart;—
or plans in a man’s heart
21 —nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.
We can come up with all kinds of plans, all kinds of ideas, all kinds of things that we want to do, all kinds of innovations that we want to implement. But when you really get down to it, for something to really work and for something to really succeed, we better listen to God and we better heed God’s instructions and we better pay attention to God. And we better go to Him and ask Him for His guidance and blessing. Because in the end, that’s what stands.
Nevertheless, the counsel of the Eternal—the mind of the Eternal, the will of the Eternal, the instruction and guidance of the Eternal—that’s what works and that’s what shall stand. No matter how smart we think we are and no matter how determined we are and no matter how clever the plan is that we’ve come up with, unless we do it God’s way and unless we have His blessing and backing, it’s going to come to naught. But if we do it His way and we have His blessing and backing, then in the long run, that will stand the test of time.
So, let’s make sure that God is in the center of our life and in the center of everything we do, and then that will stand.
22 The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.I mean, you like to be around people that are kind. And you will like it if you are kind because the results are very rewarding. So we can develop kindness. We can get rid of the rough edge. We can get rid of the abrasiveness. We can get rid of the selfishness and the abruptness and the rudeness. And we can replace it with kindness. And what a wonderful thing that is. Others will want to be around us. They’ll benefit from it and we’ll benefit from being kind to others. It’s a wonderful pleasure to see others happy as a result of our kindness.
22 —a poor man is better than a liar.
The poor man may not have anything, but if he tells the truth, he’s much better than a liar that has wealth beyond counting. Once again, God condemns lying here. He hates lying, and we need to get to where we hate it as well and don’t practice it. Better to be poor than to be wealthy and be a liar. Better to be poor than to be poor and be liar. It’s never okay to be a liar.
23 The fear of the Eternal tends to life: and he that has it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
Right there in that verse, in verse 23, is a kind of crystallized formula for being a tremendously happy individual and a tremendously successful individual. If we stand in awe of God and we adore and worship Him and we fear Him and we worship Him from the heart and we really do want to please Him and obey Him, it just tends to life—it tends to the abundant life. It just leads to breaks and perks and happiness and joy and good things. And we’re going to love our neighbor and love the Eternal, and we’re going to be satisfied if we do that.
23 —he that has it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
There’ll be trouble, there’ll be tests, there’ll be trials, there’ll be setbacks. But we will not be clothed in evil and we will not be subjected to a heavy dark cloud of evil that follows us through life. It just won’t happen.
The suffering and the pain that we might incur as a result of just living life and as a result of needing to learn lessons will not go so far as to be evil and wretchedness and wickedness and vileness, and it will not be a matter of being trapped by that and being visited by that.
You know why? Because we stand in awe of God. Therefore we obey God. Therefore He blesses us and protects us and satisfies us and gives us success. So why not just stand in awe of God and fear God and put Him first before everything and everybody else and love Him and obey Him and pray to Him and follow wherever Christ leads? Look at what it brings. It brings a wonderful life. It brings tremendous fulfillment. And it takes us away from being visited with evil.
24 A slothful man hides his hand in his bosom, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again.
A lazy person is so lazy that he won’t even exert the effort to bring food to his mouth or to get food or to prepare food or even bother to eat food. Here is an example of a person who is so lazy that, a better translation is: “A lazy man hides his hand in the bowl and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again.” He can’t even be bothered with exerting the effort to even eat. Yet, there are people like that. You might say, “We shouldn’t be lazy, but do we ever get so lazy that we won’t even take time to cook or feed ourselves?” Yes, there are people like that, and therefore they’re not pleasant, those results. So let’s not be that way.
It’s so much more rewarding, so much more fulfilling, so much more thrilling to be a good, hard worker. Not to be a workaholic, but to be a good, hard worker and really accomplish things. And then enjoy the fruit of our labor and share it with others. It’s never a happy, wonderful situation to be in where we’re lazy, and we’re so lazy we can’t even bother to feed ourselves or feed our family. What a disgusting situation to be in! And if we’re in that situation, we can repent and come out of that situation with God’s help. And if we’re not in that situation, we don’t ever have to be in that situation if we’ll simply take care of business and carry out our responsibilities and be a good, hard, balanced worker.
25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that has understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Now the scorner might not beware, but those who have discernment and those who care and those who have any degree of smarts will learn from the correction given to a scorner. And they will try to make sure that they don’t have to be corrected that way by not doing what the scorner did and by not being like the scorner. So we can profit from the correction given to others if we will be alert and if we will seek understanding and if we will be careful to learn anytime we can.
25 —reprove one that has understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
You know why? Because he wants to. Because he’ll respond to the correction and he will appreciate the instruction, and so his understanding and knowledge will even grow.
26 He that wastes his father, and chases away his mother, is a son that causes shame, and brings reproach.
One of the big problems that’s going on in our society today is children abusing parents, and we’re warned against that right here in verse 26, because it’s been happening for 6,000 years of human history. What a disgusting thing! It’s one of the things that is most repugnant to God.
The fifth commandment says, “Honor your father and mother, that your days may be prolonged on this earth.” And, “that things will go well with you,” it says in Ephesians 6.
And yet right here we’re warned. He that assaults his father and mistreats his mother—and that goes on—is a son that causes shame and brings reproach—reproach on the whole family, reproach on the son or daughter that does that. What a horrible, horrible practice. Anyone who’s doing that needs to repent deeply or they will pay dearly.
27 Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causes to err from the words of knowledge.
“Cease my son to hear the instruction and you will go astray from the words of knowledge,” is a better translation. In other words, if we ever get to the point to where nobody can tell us anything, if we ever get to the point to where we’re not going to be teachable and learn, then what’s going to happen is, we’re going to start straying away from the words of knowledge.
But if we will take instruction, if we will pay attention to counsel from someone who is wise and can give us counsel, then we’re going to get more knowledge. We’re not going to stray away from the words of knowledge. We’re going to acquire more understanding and knowledge.
28 An ungodly witness scorns judgment: and the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity.
An ungodly witness has no interest in justice, has no interest in judgment, has no interest in telling the truth, doesn’t care what their words do in the way of harming others. They’re just ungodly, hateful, mean, disgusting, despicable people. And so their witness can cause great harm and usually does. And the mouth of the wicked, they just gobble up iniquity. They can’t get enough. They are insatiable when it comes to iniquity because they’re wicked. And there are people like that. We don’t want to be that way. But there are people that way that are around. And so when we discover that, we want to make sure that we’re not around them. Because they never will be full of enough iniquity. And they just want it more and more and more because that’s what makes them feel good, that’s what gives them a charge.
And it doesn’t matter how many people get hurt, it doesn’t matter how painful this practice is to them or to others. They just have an insatiable appetite for iniquity. The mouth of the wicked devours it—filthy talk, filthy words, filthy jokes, filthy everything.
29 Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.
That’s right. Scorners and fools will not escape judgment. They will not escape punishment. They will not escape the penalty of being a scorner and being a fool. And yet those who obey and serve, they will be blessed. Those who are fools and scorners, they will be punished. That’s the choice.
Let’s make sure we make the right choice. Let’s make sure we do the right thing, instead of the wrong thing—that of being a scorner and a fool—and suffer the consequences. Because every action carries a consequence. We choose the right action, the right consequences come. We choose the wrong action, and in this case in verse 29, being a scoffer and being a fool, then judgment and pain and punishment will come.
We’ll stop there and pick it up next time in chapter 20 of the book of Proverbs.
This is Charles Bryce with the Enduring Church of God.