Greetings everyone. Let’s turn to Proverbs 31:10. We will finish our Bible Studies through the book of Proverbs this time, and we’ll finish on a high note because this is one of the most inspiring sections that you could study in the Bible, here in Proverbs 31:10.
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Who can find a woman of valor, a woman of strength, a woman of courage, a woman of high standards and morals? Well, God certainly has many women that fit that description in His church. And there are even women in various places of the world that still aspire to those standards. But it’s getting harder and harder to find women and men who are people of character and people of godly values and standards. And that’s a sad commentary on our society today.
Hopefully, more and more women will step up and start obeying God and serving God and setting their lives in order according to the Bible, and develop into virtuous women. And hopefully parents will be raising daughters who see the value, and who see the happiness, and who see the good and the service that can be experienced and rendered by a virtuous woman—a woman of strength and courage and valor.
10 —for her price is far above rubies.
Not that a price is on her head. This is simply talking about her value and her worth, her tremendous contribution, the tremendous good that she can do. When you really think about it, throughout history, so many of the great things that have ever been achieved have been achieved by women or have been achieved by men who were blessed with having a virtuous woman as their helpmeet and as their partner. There is really no greater blessing that a man can have in many ways than to be married to a virtuous woman when we understand all of what that means. And the good that she does in the home and in the marriage and in the community and with her children and in the church and with friends and neighbors is beyond price. What a calling! What an opportunity! What a privilege! No wonder God says that He made women in His image, just like He made men in His image. And so let’s keep all of that in mind as we go through here.
Now, we’re going to be reading about many characteristics and responsibilities and achievements of a virtuous woman. And you’ll see that most of them are tied in with homemaking, tied in with family, tied in with children and husband. But these same virtues and these same standards can be cultivated among women who are not married and women who have to work outside the home.
Obviously, we’re living in a time now that economic requirements sometimes mean that a woman does have a job outside the home that she’s engaged in and involved in. But the ideal, and if possible somewhere down the line, the ideal would be to reduce that responsibility outside the home and increase the time spent in the home by the woman. And even if she has to do some work from within the home in the way of a commercial job, so to speak, while she keeps the home—whatever the case, the thing to shoot for as a virtuous woman is being a homemaker. And if there are additional responsibilities that she has to carry out, well then that has to be a decision she makes. And if she’s married, she and her husband make together.
But we cannot say, “Oh well, we live in a time when what you read in Proverbs 31 about the virtuous woman can no longer apply.” Well no, it does apply and it must apply, and for a Christian woman, it will be guidelines for her to follow. Even if she does have other responsibilities and duties, these are still guidelines that she will be following and she will increase in her life as much as possible, married or unmarried, just being a Christian woman. On top of that, if she’s married then all the more applicable will some of these verses be.
Now, just notice, the spiritual as well as the physical component to this passage.
11 The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
No need of worrying that she will run the credit card bills up or that she will undercut him or that she will rebel against him or go against his leadership. But no, he totally trusts her. He trusts her in terms of being loyal and faithful to him, of loving him and supporting him and of carrying out the decisions they’ve made together. He trusts her judgment. He trusts her character. He trusts her morals. He trusts her in taking care of his children. What a wonderful blessing when a man is married to a woman that he can trust, and know that even if she makes a mistake, it wasn’t her intent. But what she wants to do is do well for the home and for the family, not to spoil and ruin things.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She will not rebel against him. She will not go against him or jerk the rug out from under him. She will not be gossiping and running around with a bunch of silly women and wasting time and wasting money. She will not be committing adultery or fornication. None of that. She’s a part of the team, and just as he goes out and does all he can to take care of the home and family and provide for her, she will do all she can to back him up in that and to help him in that and to do her part in taking care of the home and the family and him.
That’s a virtuous woman. What does God think of a woman like that? Well, we’re going to find as we go through here.
13 She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
She’s busy. She’s not bored. She’s not caught in a dull life of drudgery. No, she’s creative. She’s innovative. She has decisions and responsibilities that she must make and can carry out with the backing of her husband. She’s a part of a very dynamic team, taking care of the home and the family and the marriage.
13 She seeks wool, and flax,—
She’s not lazy. She doesn’t lay around just trying to get out of work and dreading the responsibility. She works willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she brings her food from afar.
She carefully makes out the shopping list, and she shops around and finds out where she can get the best products for the home at the best price. And she’s diligent in that. And she makes sure that there’s good food and good nutrition in the home so that her family eats well, not only in terms of the quality of the food, but in terms of the healthful nutrition of the food.
15 She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
If she has other people that she’s responsible for. She gets up early if she needs to. She doesn’t just lay around and watch television and get on the computer and let the house go to where it becomes overrun with clothes and books and toys, and the kitchen becomes overrun with dishes and utensils.
She stays on top of things, and her husband and her kids help her stay on top of things. But mainly she’s the one who fulfills her responsibilities in these areas of the home and of the family. And she gets up early if she needs to, while it’s yet dark so she can prepare the breakfast and so she can prepare the lunches for the kids, and so she can have good, clean, fresh clothes for everybody to slip into and go off to their various responsibilities to school and to the job, dressed well and fed well.
16 She considers a field, and buys it:—
In other words, she has the ability. She has a head on her shoulders. Maybe her husband is so busy traveling, her husband is so busy with other responsibilities, he can’t be the one who mainly looks for a house to rent or looks for a house to buy. And so she is able to go ahead and get the details and get the facts and contact various people and begin to put together a plan for purchasing a home or purchasing a car or purchasing a major item for the house. And her husband trusts her to do that, and she’s able to go ahead and step up and do that, including him in the overall plan, including him in the final decision.
But she has the ability and she has the initiative and she has the desire and she has the wherewithal to go ahead and buy what needs to be bought. Not in rebellion and not on her own—fully within the plan and the family and the marriage. But that capability and that energy and that initiative are there to handle that responsibility, which could be a very big responsibility—considering a big item such as a piece of land and buying it with and in concert with her husband and with guidance and overall direction from him.
16 —with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
In other words, sometimes she will earn extra money and then she can plant a garden or plant a vineyard. It doesn’t mean she goes out and does all the heavy work, although she’s able to work hard and do some heavy work. The kids and the husband can pitch in and do the heavy digging and the heavy lifting, and she can supervise in the overall planting and the overall design or plan for the flower garden or for the vegetable garden or for the vineyard or the fruit tree. She’s able to do that.
17 She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms.
She’s not a wimp. She’s not a sissy. She’s feminine. She’s not masculine, she’s feminine. But by virtue of the fact that she’s active and she’s busy, she’s strong and she has stamina. And she can work hard—and not overdo it, and not harm herself or hurt herself—but she can work hard. She can sweat and she’s not afraid to.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goes not out by night.
Her lamp. She can see the fruit of her labor. She sees, “Well, you know what, that shirt I made for my husband, it looks nice on him. That lunch I put together for my kids to take to school, that’s a good lunch. The way I arranged the furniture in the house, it’s really, really a comfortable home to live in.” And she can be thankful and she can look on the result of her labor and be happy with it.
And if necessary, and hopefully not every night—just like hopefully not every morning she’ll have to get up early—hopefully every night she won’t have to stay up late. But, you know, sometimes she will have to stay up late. Sometimes she’ll have to get up with the children. Sometimes she didn’t finish what she was doing and it needed to be finished, and so after everybody is in bed, she’ll stay up late or maybe get up early and work while the house is quiet and while there’s no interruption in order to get something done that really needs doing for somebody else or for her husband or for her kids or for the home. She’s willing to do that, and she can do it cheerfully and she can do it enthusiastically. And I’ve known so many women who do that and who are able to do that in my family and other people’s families.
19 She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
A distaff is a staff for holding flax or wool and spinning. This is just talking about implements or tools that are used in weaving and used in being a seamstress. A spindle is a round stick with tapered ends, used to form and twist the yarn in hand. So those are tools in spinning yarn or tools in spinning wool or holding wool and holding yarn. You hold the wool in one hand and you spin it with the other with the distaff and the spindle. Ladies who do that can tell you about it if you don’t know what it’s talking about.
You can do a little research and you will see that it’s talking about someone who can sew, someone who can stitch, someone who can take thread and a needle, or take wool or yarn and take implements, and turn out a beautiful garment to wear or a beautiful quilt or a beautiful bedspread or tablecloth or other articles or items of clothing.
This is a talented woman. She’s someone who’s well–rounded and well–balanced. She can cook. She can sew. She can plan. She can work hard and does. She relates and identifies with her family and with the community and with other people. She’s able to do that and she’s glad to do that, and her family is blessed as a result of her doing that. Notice verse 20:
20 She stretches out—
or she extends
20 —her hand to the poor;—
See, she doesn’t just stay at home and turn inward and begin to dry up, so to speak, and just shrivel up. No, she’s outgoing, she’s busy, she’s balanced. She paces herself. She considers the needs of others and she’s able to lend a helping hand to those who need it.
20 She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
She has an attitude of reaching out and then she uses both her hands to actually implement her concern, to do something, to actually get involved in serving and helping and giving and collecting and passing out things to the poor and the needy who need it and who will do something about it and who will appreciate it. She thinks of others.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Why would she not be afraid of the snow, afraid of the cold, afraid of the inclement weather, afraid of unexpected storms coming through? Because she’s prepared for it. She has a neat, tight, warm house for them to live in and she has purchased or she has produced warm garments for them to wear. Double garments if necessary.
If they live in a cold climate, her family, well then she takes precautions well ahead of time so that when the snow or the cold hits, she’s prepared. And she sends her kids off to school bundled up and warm, or her husband off to work with good, warm, clean clothing to wear and good warm coats. And she has that for herself also.
If she lives in a warm climate where the snow doesn’t come, but there’s other weather considerations—the heat for instance—well then, she makes sure that the clothing is appropriate for that climate and the needs are met for a home in that circumstance. She stays alert. And she’s not afraid of what might come because she has prepared ahead of time for it because she’s always thinking of her responsibilities and of her household and of her family and of her loved ones.
22 She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
She wants to look good. She wants to look neat. She wants to honor God by the way she conducts herself and with her appearance. She wants to honor her family with her appearance and respect others. So she’s neat. She’s tidy. She’s well–dressed. She’s not garish. She doesn’t draw attention to herself. She’s not immodest. She’s not repulsive. She is a modest, well–dressed woman, who as a Christian lets her light shine so that others can see her good works and glorify her Father in heaven. And she plans for this, she works at this. She purchases what she needs in order to produce this. And then she dresses well in a modest and yet nice, attractive way. That’s what it’s saying here.
22 She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Actually, fine linen. Sometimes she can’t afford really expensive cloth, but she gets the best that the budget will allow and she makes sure that it fits her properly because she wants to be an example.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
In this case, her husband is a man of responsibility in government. That’s what gates mean, the government.
23 —when he sits among the elders of the land.
He was sitting among the leaders of the land. So when her husband goes and does whatever his job is—it could be labor or it could be a position of authority—it could be any number of hundreds of different jobs that he might have, but because he’s happy and because he’s looked after and because he’s loved and appreciated and because she cooperates with him and because she’s helping him rear children that are just a tremendous blessing, then he begins to be known by his happiness and by his pleasantness and by his peace of mind and by his appearance—crisp, clean clothes and hair that’s combed because he wants to look good for her and for his family and therefore for others. And he begins to be known for his maturity and for his depth and for his spiritual foundation and understanding because she has that depth and spiritual understanding. And she helps him and he helps her. And together they are a wonderful team. And so he begins to be known. His light and example is one that is a good one and uplifts and inspires and helps other people.
24 She makes fine linen, and sells it; and delivers girdles—
or sashes
24 —unto the merchant.
Sometimes she will weave something or crotchet something, or she’s talented in making arts and crafts and maybe pillows or quilts or something like that, or other things similar to that, and she makes them in her spare time to the point to where they’re so good that other people would like to have some. And so she can sell them and make some extra money that way without going too far and just bogging herself down. And she’s willing to do that when she can.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
That’s right. She has character. She has a close relationship with God. She is growing in the understanding of the Bible and in having God’s Holy Spirit. She is spiritually–minded. She has a strong spiritual foundation and character foundation. She’s an honorable person. She’s clothed in honor and in strength, spiritually speaking. And so therefore that’s going to produce happiness and joy in her life. And she’s going to rejoice in time to come because she’ll be blessed for that, and one day she’ll be in the Kingdom of God because of that. Notice here in verse 26:
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Not a bunch of gossip and prittle–prattle, not a bunch of backstabbing and useless conversation. Sure she can have fun, and does. Sure she has a sense of humor. Sure she can relax and have just good, casual, warm, happy conversation, but she can also have deep and meaningful and substantial conversation. She can talk about things that are really wonderful and solid and can be very, very useful and worthwhile and lasting in terms of wisdom and in terms of the law of God. When she speaks, she’s not foolish. She has something to say that’s useful and worthwhile. She has wisdom. She keeps God’s law, the Ten Commandments. She has kindness.
26 —in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She’s a converted, deeply dedicated, completely committed Christian woman to God. And the blessings and the fruits that are born are a beautiful thing to see, and it pleases God and pleases those around her—in particular, her family because of that.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.
She takes it seriously. She’s thrilled. She’s excited. She’s full of joy and enthusiasm for having the responsibility of a home and of a family and of a husband and of being a Christian, and so
27 She looks well to the ways of her household,—
She’s not going to waste her time just idling away, feeling sorry for herself and wallowing in self–pity. That’s not what the virtuous woman does.
Look at the results of all of these tremendous character traits that this woman has and grows in and develops more and more. Look at this:
28 Her children arise up,—
Arise up means they grow up. They get out on their own, and what do they do? They
28 —call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
You can certainly count on that, and I’m sure many of you have experienced that. You know how a husband who is taken care of by a virtuous woman, you know how children who are loved by a virtuous woman, feel about their mother and about their wife. Well, they start praising her. They start thanking her. They love her. They cherish her. They honor her. They do it for the rest of her life and the rest of their lives. And they rise up and they
28 —call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all.
God is inspiring here this verse that says, “There’s a lot of women who have done well, but, you know what, my dear wife, you have excelled them all. You know what, mother you have excelled them all.”
In other words, the family considers that she’s a special mother and a special wife. And each family that feels that way toward their mother and toward their wife has been loved and cared for by a virtuous woman, and they will express that. And that virtuous woman will enjoy that kind of appreciation and honor. The fruits are wonderful. The consequences are great. Whatever you sow, you reap comes into play here, and she’s going to reap wonderful happiness and joy from her family and from others. And as we finish up this chapter, it’s plain to see, most importantly, from God Himself. Notice verse 30:
30 Favor is deceitful,—
And it can be charm and all of that. It doesn’t have to be, but quite often it is.
30 —and beauty is vain:—
Once again, it doesn’t have to be, but quite often it is. It certainly is fleeting. It comes and goes, you know, the youth that women have. As the woman gets older, the youth leaves and then age begins to take its toll. But that doesn’t diminish the love of the family toward the mom and toward the wife, and it doesn’t diminish the value of the virtuous woman in anybody’s eyes and especially in God’s eyes. Because, notice:
30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Eternal, she shall be praised.
A woman that has built character, a woman that has served God, a woman that obeys God, a woman that stands in awe of God and keeps His commandments, a woman that carries out her responsibility as a Christian—she’s going to be praised. She’s going to be praised and blessed of Almighty God. And if she endures to the end as a virtuous woman, she’s going to be saved.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands;—
And it will be wonderful fruit.
31 —and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Her actions speak for themselves and they speak loudly and they speak wonderfully.
So I hope we can study and restudy this entire book of Proverbs and concentrate on certain sections that we feel help us individually. And don’t overlook this last section that we’ve gone through here about the virtuous woman. It has many applications. There are many lessons there for men and women and children, and many spiritual lessons for the church, as well as physical lessons that we can employ and implement in our marriages, in our homes, and in our lives.
This is Charles Bryce with the Enduring Church of God.